BabyBolverk

Glazed eyes, A bored yawn, Looking at the grimy ceiling of a world gone wrong. Too young to know life as it could be, the possibilities of love and hate. Lost before they could ferment, take hold of a pure mind. Flames lick the mournful sky, Scorch the heart clean of all illusion.

A folded sheet, A cold pillow on a dusty chair, curtains drawn on the cheerful past. Echos of laughter and woodspice fading. It seemed only a moment I looked away. But you passed, like the years. And I grew in body and mind. I have grown bloody in mind. When I look in the mirror now, I see not myself. But you, You, all you have missed and all you will. And I am sorry. For all I have done, for all I have not. For the way I have become. You see I have grown, Older and bolder, I have grown colder: My laughter does not pass So easily, So freely. My knees are unmuddied, my hair untangled, dyed and styled, nails polish

Higher than ever, I can feel myself rise, above it all. Joyous as an eagle rising with the updraft, not a beat of the wings, no strain on the muscles. Just peace, Inner, outer, All over. Banished those dark, damp days, The classroom ambitions, The need for a better position. The craving for positive attention, Gone. Just peace. Like the yellowed piano keys, Long forgotten, But at rest. I need no crutch: I will stand on my own. I must. I want no help, I will be what I am. For better or worse. And if the wind breaks my wings, or if dust clogs my keys. Then let it be. No outer strife will break me. For if I lie broken,

Tight as a violin string, Scrape my nerves of steel, Away to nothing. Pierce my ears With heathen cries, The world palpitates To a razors edge and I vanish.

By the sword, I swore my strength, I swore this life, I held this ideology to the light, I saw the walls crumble And felt no release, My burden no softer, My sleep no deeper, A pock marked repentant, In a shallow earth bed, He was willed against thine enemies, Against the Godless, As was I ? You said so, In proxy, But where do they lie? Do you lie?